So You Want to Marry a Surfer

Part Two of a Two Part Series

by Paul's Wife—Katie

Last month I highlighted the difference between being a surfer, and someone who surfs. This, for some, might not seem that important, but it makes a difference when you are dating someone or are married to someone who is a surfer verses someone who just surfs. As I said before, I have had eight years of experience with being married to a surfer. Over the past month, I have met many wives who have been married to their surfer husband's a lot longer then that, so I know I have some stuff to learn! Please keep sending me emails if I didnt cover something on one of my articles. The next time the surf is good, I might be writing an article again for my husband!

Diggin' in the Sand

So, on to more things I have learned over the past 8 years. (Continued from last month.)

3) Wetsuits and surfboards must be put in the yearly budget. Lets talk about wetsuits first. If your husband truly is a central coast, cold water surfer, he will be buying a new wetsuit at least once a year. Plus they will need good ones, or your heat bill will go through the roof. If your husbands wetsuit is old or cheaply made, he will come home from a three- hour cold water surf session, put on four sweaters and two pairs of socks, then crank up the heat so high you will feel like you can't breath. Eventually he will be able to feel his toes and fingers again, but you might have just spent your monthly gas bill in a two hour time span. One great idea for a birthday gift is to get him a good pair of booties (think gloves for their feet) and a good wetsuit hood. 

 Now to surfboards, and the cost of riding one. Surfboards, for me, are a little different than for most surfers' wives. Surfboards is my husband's business and he makes his own! (That, in itself, can be a whole other article). However if your husband is truly a surfer, he will need at least three surfboards in his quiver at a time. And yes, you probably will be buying a new one every year. Different boards are ridden for different size waves. You need one for small waves, for big waves, and one for those mushy days your husband just has to get wet. Surfboards are not indestructible either. Dings happen, so please remember to budget in some money for a good ding repair job.

4) The beach is a GREAT place to hang out, before and after having kids! The beaches of this world are amazing, so enjoy those surf trips with your husband. If he wants to book a flight for the two of you to some amazing surf spot, GO! And invest in a good camera! A camera is fun for everyone. Even if your husband hates to get his picture taken for your yearly family photo, he really likes to see pictures of his friends and himself surfing.  

I thought my view of the beach would change when we had children, but it hasn't. Taking our kids to the beach is actually a lot of fun, if you know what to bring and what not to bring.

Kids at almost all ages really don't need much to entertain themselves at the beach. For you local parents, an old wetsuit, body board, and maybe a shovel and bucket is all you need. Forget all those beach toys that you will have to make your husband carry all the way down to the beach alongside his board. Let your children enjoy the beautiful environment that God created for them and let them use their imagination while at the beach.

You can also pick up some fun shells to decorate your home with while you are there.

I have found that wanting to go to the beach with him and being prepared ahead of time—especially if you have children—is a wonderful way to support your husband's surf habit. He wants to show off for you, so let him!

5) Surfing will (usually!) keep your husband healthy and fit. We have plenty of friends in our lives who are surfing and are old enough to have grandchildren. On a side note, if your husband surfs in cold water for three+ hours, he will come home and be hungry. Be ready to go to Taco De Mexico for lunch.

6) If you can't get over that he is a surfer, then join him. Buy a wetsuit and get out in the water with him! I havent done this yet, mainly because I have three small children and don't really want to get in the cold water. But a few people who read my last month's article gave me that advice. They will go out with their husbands to surf, each taking turns on the beach with the kids.

7) Last but not least, make friends with women who are married to surfers. You can find support in each other when the waves are really good, and you have somone to car pool to the beach with. I am blessed with some very good girlfriends in my life whose husbands surf almost as much as mine. We enjoy rounding up the kids, grabbing lunch, and going to the beach together to watch our husbands surf. Also when you have your friends over for a BBQ, you will not have to sit the whole time and listen to surf talk with the guys. I am always amazed when my husband can sit with some guys and talk about surf for two hours straight. By that time, the wives are on our 10th topic of the night.

To conclude, I want to say again that I love my husband and I love that he is a surfer. It's who he is and who he will always be. He loves the ocean and taking care of it, but he loves his family even more. I don't want to change him. However, I have learned ways to cope with being a surfer's wife and I hope you find comfort in my two articles if you find yourself in the same predicament! See you on the beach.

This column was originally run in January, 2011
All images by Katie Finley of Dunes Street Photography