Under the Tongue

by Christine Neilson

Are our coastal towns reflective of our nation's political demographics? My premise is yes. Cambria is a microcosm of liberals/independents versus conservatives/moderates. If you're a coffee house regular, you'll spot these birds of a feather flocking together.

There's the liberal intellectuals donning LL Bean garb sipping lattes and cappuccinos as they critique books, film, theatre and—today—gun control. Let's listen in.

"I think the new California ammunition law (AB 962) is a good thing. Anyone that purchases handgun ammo here after February 1st has to register their private information (name, address, birthdate, phone number, right thumb print) with the state. The seller must maintain these records for five years and make it available to law enforcement," a group liberal quips.

Nearby a conservative constituency, sporting plaid shirts, padded vests, and blue jeans, gathers. One woman, stomping mud off her boots, launches into a pro-gun counter while her boyfriend chews on vension jerky with a black coffee chaser.

"Last month, I mail ordered flats of ammo from Cabela's to be delivered in late January . . . heading off the new law,"  she boasts.

Cabela's, based in Nebraska, ships to 41 states and 120 countries. In it's first year in business in 1961, it shipped 120 million catalogs to hunters, fishermen and campers. Cabela's owners have already gone on record stating they will discontinue California ammunition mail order sales when AB 962 "goes live." (Odd choice of words don't you think?)

Suddenly there's a shift in the chatter to local news: the three zebras from San Simeon's Hearst Castle's ranch who were shot and killed on January 12th by a Cambria rancher after they meandered on to his property 10-miles away. They spooked his herd of horses.

According to the consensus at the cowboy table, the rancher had no choice but to shoot the black 'n white equiade.

"These zebra have no respect for fences . . . they tear fences and go right through them."

The liberals are relaxed in their stance. "Hey, did you read in the Tribune what Stephen Hearst [William Randolph Hearst's great grandson] said about the shooting? He countered the rancher's response remarking that zebras have some respect for a fence. But if they want to move, they'll hop it."

I ponder this wildlife debate shaking my beret clad head. Are zebras privy to etiquette lessons? How do we humans know what or whom wildlife respect?

A fired up cowboy spits out hearsay, "The Hearst ranch has now announced that they actually will work to keep their animals on their grounds. Did you know there was a witness to neighboring ranchers being told that they were authorized by the Hearst Ranch to shoot any Hearst animal that got on their properties?"

I note interactions are heating up.

Suddenly a new migrating flock appears, landing in the middle of the discourse. A kick-back group—surfers in t-shirts, shorts, and flip flops pondering where to catch a wave today. "I wonder if San Simeon Point is breaking? What do you think? queries one dude to another.

"How about 'swell rock' or 'the jetty' [Morro Bay]" . . . right on."

A surfer chick surveys the patio, leans in whispering, "They're talking about the three zebras that were shot; a yearling (baby), a mare and a stallion. The rancher said the zebra were not hurting his horses, but only spooking them."

A smirk crosses her face as she concludes,  "He shot two, then the next day he had the taxidermist skin one of the zebra's hides and tanned it for a rug."

Okay, "that's it" I declare silently to myself. I've lost my swallow reflux and push away from the banter.  I decide to go leap over the fence into the farmers market.

When I return to my homestead, I check blogs expounding diverse opinions about the zebra shooting incident and take note of a post by Stephen Hearst:

"Enough is enough.

In light of the recent shootings of our zebras, and the ever-increasing level of harsh response, I believe it is time to end this controversy. Now is the time for ranchers and neighbors to make a renewed effort to communicate with each other and with the public for each others' benefit.

At the Hearst Ranch, we will continue to do our best to contain our zebras. But if they do stray from our property, we ask that anyone who sees them to please treat them with respect and to contact us immediately, as we do for our neighbors when their animals cross over onto our land.

What's done is done. We would like to move forward in good faith with our neighbors to support each other, because ranching is hard enough. Let's put this incident to bed."

With that said, I turn out my column light.

Doe Image on Banner by Tulip Fleurs
Brandt Geese Migrating Photo by Mike Baird
Hearst Ranch Zebras Photo Courtesy Linda Tanner