Rev. Nancy Ballinger has lived in Morro Bay with her husband Ron Schow since 1993. As an educator and Marriage, Family and Child Therapist she taught internationally for 10 yrs. with Quest International, consulted with alcohol treatment programs, served as Children's Bereavement Counselor for Hospice of SLO and had a private practice until 2000.
In 1996 Nancy entered an interfaith seminary, and in 2000, graduated and was ordained. Since her ordination, ministry has been her full time work - offering counseling, classes, worship services, retreats, meditation, weddings, memorials, and more.
As the Spiritual Director and founding minister of AWAKENING Interfaith Spiritual Community in Morro Bay, she brings a rich background in Eastern and Western spirituality and philosophy, and an inspiring message of living an authentic life to one's fullest potential.
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And Now We Choose
by Nancy Ballinger
Finding the Sacred in Everyday Life
There is a story of an old Cherokee grandmother telling her grandchildren about a fight that is going on inside her, a fight between two wolves. She tells them one wolf is filled with anger, greed, arrogance, self-pity, regret, and lies. The other wolf is filled with joy, hope, humility, truth, love, and compassion.
All of the grandchildren sat quietly listening, carefully thinking about what grandmother said. Then one grandson spoke and asked the grandmother, "Which wolf wins Grandmother?"
The wise elder simply replied, "The one I feed."
We all have these wolves inside of us. Throughout the day we choose which wolf we will feed. This choice is often unconsciously made out of habitual patterns and responses. Whether conscious or unconscious, we are always choosing the wolf we will feed.
Our media often feeds the angry, bitter, arrogant wolf in us with pictures of crime, greed, half-truths and stories that dehumanize groups of people. This allows us to project all of our disowned parts onto others, feeding our sense of separateness and superiority. We also tend to surround ourselves with people who agree with us and find fault with "others" who disagree. If you need an example, think about when you’ve broken up with a girlfriend, or been fired from a job. There are always people around who will shore up your argument and feed a sense of self-righteousness and resentment. Unfortunately this can lead to more anger and turn inward toward depression, both missing the opportunity for healing and personal growth.
When I was a young woman, I believed that I didn’t hate. I grew up in a religious system and family that taught me to deny and repress that I felt any of the qualities of the angry wolf. Then, as it will, my life happened and I began to find myself in situations where I got "caught." I experienced myself filled with anger, envy, arrogance, resentment, lies, and superiority. It was with great angst that I realized, instead of being above these qualities they were inside of me. Because I was in denial about them, a wolf inside me was regularly fed by my disowned thoughts and feelings. Unheeded, the wolf had the potential to become fierce and dangerous – to run my life - and to eat me alive from the inside out.
Years of therapy helped me bring the emotions out and acknowledge them. Yet it wasn’t until I began my pursuit of yoga philosophy and practices that I really learned about the nature of thoughts and emotions and how to find peace within them. The word Yoga means union with the divine within. A spiritual way of life for those seeking to travel the inner path of soul realization it offers important and relevant insights into how to live a life of integrity and peace.
Through the teachings of yoga we learn to become a "witness" to our thoughts and emotions, rather than identifying with them. In this way we are able to consciously and thoughtfully respond rather than unconsciously react to life. We are not able to control everything that happens to us in life, but we always have the opportunity to choose how we respond to what happens.
Let’s take an example:
On my way to meet friends I’m in my car and waiting at a crosswalk for a pedestrian to cross. The driver behind me seems to be in a bigger hurry than me, and honks when she believes the pedestrian is far enough across the street for me to move forward. As I proceed across the intersection and continue on my way, I get to choose what I will do with this little encounter.
I can get angry, swear and immediately begin to write a story in my head about the impatient jerk in the car behind me- a story that I will repeat and rehash for the rest of the morning. I can think about my good driving habits and feel totally righteous and make the other driver totally wrong. Furthermore, when I arrive at my destination, I can tell the people there about this jerk, they can agree, and we can proceed to talk about how we all hate people like that!
Or I have another alternative.
Rather than reacting to the incident, I can respond. I can feel the anger rise up in me when I realize the car behind me is honking at me. Taking a moment, I realize I can ignore and squelch the emotion or I can simply acknowledge it: "Wow, that really got to me. I felt so angry!" I can ask myself why someone honking at me made me so angry. I may choose at this point to smile, and consider the potential a driver with a horn has to explode the serenity I was feeling just moments before. I can even feel compassion as I realize that I’ve been rushing around a lot lately myself and imagine perhaps that is what is happening with the other driver.
Anger like every other emotion in itself is neither good nor bad and if examined it can be extremely useful. The problem occurs when we don’t understand and transform the anger and use it toward a positive end. When we mindlessly feed any potentially negative emotion it breeds an atmosphere in which negativity thrives and we miss the opportunity to grow beyond ourselves. When we consciously open our hearts and feed the wolf inside loving, uplifting thoughts and feelings we are able to change ourselves and the world around us.
Which wolf do you feed? Explore your environment. Who and what do you surround yourself with? Do you surround yourself with voices of joy, peace, love and compassion, or anger, hatred, resentment, and greed? How do you deal with negative situations? Do you deny what is going on, or take a realistic stock of the situation and choose how you will respond?
All of life is one, but we imagine ourselves to be separate and lacking. Feeding the wolf of negativity with resentments and self-righteousness, and fear we feed this mistaken belief. Similarly, watching a sunset, listening to beautiful music, helping someone in need, or sitting quietly in meditation we feed the wolf of compassion and truth.
What will you choose?
Living the Eternal Way
A Spiritual Training Course with Nancy Ballinger
Wednesdays April 7-May 12
6:30-8:30 p.m.
Free-will offering
Based on the teachings of Kriya yoga the class includes:
~Meditation instruction and practice
~Core teachings on the nature of Consciousness and the Soul
~Guidelines to transform your personality and your life
Pre-registration required/class size limited.
For information and to register: 772-0306
Awakening Interfaith Classes - Eternal Way
If you are looking for a loving, safe place to find the sacred in everyday life, Reverend Nancy Ballinger offers spiritual guidance counseling. With over 20 years as a licensed marriage and family therapist and studies in Eastern and Western philosophies she brings a unique, open perspective to her counseling. Sliding scale fee.
Rufous Hummingbird image on banner by Mike Baird. |
