Legally Addicted

by Shana Ogren Lourey

Listening to a program on the radio about heroin use, I had the urge to call in and contribute my thoughts and probes. I decided to instead ask the questions to my personal resource – Mom.

In my own hippy lifestyle I tried a number of different drugs, but I never tried heroin.  Just the sound of the word scared and intimidated me.  But apparently, my mom did it, and did it often.  My father tells me that when he met her she had recently had a close call to over-dosing on heroin, and hence stopped her addiction to the nasty sounding drug.  Mom said this story is not exactly true.  She doesn't seem to remember what is, though.

Currently, she is an Oxycontin user, prescribed to her for various medical needs.  Oxycontin (Oxycodone) is a narcotic that works as a pain medication.

Having dealt with a prior addiction to heroin, and later to methadone (prescribed to her for headaches and aching muscles), my mom knew getting on Oxycontin could be dangerous.

The CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) says that in 2008, over 36,000 people died from overdosing on drugs.  Was it on heroin?  No.  Most of these deaths were caused by prescription drugs.

To get some insight into the difference between the prescribed pills and the illegal drug, I interviewed my mom and have included her thoughts below. 

Are you an addict?

Yes.  I believe so.  It's always a challenge to try to keep it down as much as you can yet to not get withdrawal or hurt too much.
I was nervous when I was in bed thinking about your article on addiction.  You know, there's a lot of shame that comes along with the whole thing.

It's like I can't apologize enough but that gets tiresome to hear.

Apologize for what?

For anyone who might have been hurt by my journey.

When did you start using?

It started again when I broke my legs.

Why are you on it?

Being the devout coward I am, I didn't want to be left in pretty severe pain without being helped by drugs.

Does it make you feel high?

Most of the time, no. 

Then what's addictive about it?

It's a substance in your body, like a physiological thing, it makes your body want more.  But sometimes you're feeling high and you don't even know it.

Is it better to be addicted to this than to heroin?

Probably.  I think you can control this stuff more.  Heroin is a stronger physical addiction.

Did you tell the doctors that you had heroin problems before?

Yes, but I think they make themselves forget it, so that they can sell more drugs and make money for the office visit.

It sounds like you blame the doctors a bit.  Do you hold the doctors responsible for this addiction?

So, it's my decision, but once you get a little better the pain and rehabilitation people don't even think twice before filling me up with pills.  Even when I ask them, "I'm not going to get addicted to these, am I?" and they say "No, No.", and I now say "Bull Bull."

Do you ever think you'll plan on getting off the Oxycontin?

I always plan on it!  (laughs)  It's like a constant plan in the back of my head.