"Over the past ten years or so, young people have increasingly become inept in socializing in real life. They don't know how to interact outside of social networking. Away from their iPhone and computer screens they are unable to pick up on the subtle nuances of body language and facial expressions because they are lacking in social skills. Also, they don't learn respect for other people's opinions or life experiences. They are in control of their online blogs, facebook entries, and twitter interactions."
I decided to get his opinion on a recent occurrence at Two Dogs Coffee House in Morro Bay that seemed to be an example of lack of social skills.
While waiting in line to order, a young woman fell in behind me with a baby stroller. I turned towards her, smiled, leaned down and took a peek at the infant adding reflectively, "It goes by so fast. I loved those early years of raising my son." She blankly stares at me and I turn back around.
After the brief interaction, I sat down at a table near the counter to read the New Times and sip my cup of tea. Meanwhile, the young woman pulled her baby stroller up to an empty table near me, sat down, and started texting on her cellphone. A few minutes later, she was joined by a friend with a toddler. Since the seating is close together, no conversation goes unnoticed.
She leans over glancing my way. "Every time I'm out with my baby, this seems to happen. An older woman stops us and says something like, 'Oh, enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast.' Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc."
I'm startled by her irritation and embarrassed. I start justifying to myself that most of my friends mirror my reaction to seeing a cute baby, toddler, or youngster strolling down a sidewalk or in a shop with their mother. We all coo, compliment, and make reflective motherhood comments.
Hmmm. I continued to eavesdrop on their conversation.
"I know that her comment was well intentioned, but I have finally allowed myself to admit that these comments bug me. I just read a blog online where another mother is sick of this too. The blogger said, 'Especially being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM by strangers.' It makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.'"
Her friend, the toddler's mother, responds, "I know what you're talking about. One day we'll wake up and our kids will be gone, and we'll be the nostalgic old lady in the grocery store. But I hope we'll be able to say that raising a child is hard."
I ask my psychologist friend if this incident was an example of lack of socialization skills or youthful intolerance.
He concluded, "What has changed so drastically is that young people, like the two mothers in the coffee house, think they are an island unto themselves. You know, the 'me generation.' They believe that their intolerance won't impact them in terms of social relations away from social networking. But it does . . . it really does."
