While serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Malawi, Africa, I spent two years attempting communication. As a strongly direct, clear, and specific speaker (very American), I began to learn the difficult meaning of indirect communication.
People in Malawi usually don't tell you what they actually mean or want, but rather provide you with a proverb.
These proverbs are all based on stories and folk tales, usually told to children by their "agogos" (grandmothers and grandfathers). This is a shared cultural history—if you are somehow an outsider from village culture (me, for example), you are not privy to this history.
Proverbs and the stories behind them helped me to understand why it was so difficult for me to feel truly at home in Malawi, or to be able to imagine ever living there permanently. To understand Malawian culture and Malawian people, and to feel a part of it, I would have had to be there for many generations—to have an "agogo" telling me the stories and for me to eventually tell them to my grandchildren.
Proverbs there are like common law. They are used not only to communicate on an everyday basis, but also to defend and explain oneself in the village justice system. Using a proverb to defend your act of theft gives you credence, and shows that you are a true villager—because you are a part of the history that gave you the stories behind the proverbs.
Once I am able to communicate only in proverb, I will know that what I'm saying is being understood in Malawi, and that I finally understand (maybe) what Malawians are saying to me and to each other.
"Mother is mother even if she has a small leg." (Respect your mom.)
"The mountain does not go to the baboon, but the baboon goes to the mountain." (A man must go to a woman to propose marriage.)
"Pick cow peas in the morning." (If you want to prosper, take action now.)
"The lion is inside." (Quarreling is in progress.)
"The liver of a fox was abandoned by a hunter." (Even able people fail.)
"He leaned on his arm." (He died.)
"The point has dug out the potato." (I've discovered the secret.)
"Would you leave peanuts near the mouse?" (Boys and girls should not board together.)
"The old pepper is not hot anymore." (Elders advice is outdated.)
"I want them to know what shaved the guinea fowl completely." (I want to teach them a lesson.)
"He drank the bile of a crocodile." (He's suspected of witchcraft.)
"A guest comes with a sharp razor blade." (Guests/new people bring new/good ideas.)
"She's in the shade." (She's wealthy.)
