Finding the Sacred in Everyday Life 

By Nancy Ballinger 

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, 
there is a field. I'll meet you there.

Rumi 

We search endlessly for the shelter of life being the way we think it should be, yet find our greatest happiness and freedom in the open field of acknowledging how it is. In this place we find the pure potential of all that life can be.  

This story illustrates the idea perfectly: 

A farmer purchased a fine horse. All of his neighbors in the village complimented him on this horse and exclaimed how lucky he was. His reply was, "It's too soon to tell." One day his horse disappeared. This time the villagers thought the farmer was very unlucky. They expressed their concern to him and he again replied, "It's too soon to tell." As it turned out, it was! A few days later his horse returned, bringing a wild mare with him. The villagers exclaimed, "How happy you must be!" Again, "Too soon to tell" was the farmer's only reply. The farmer's son set about the task of taming the wild mare and was injured by the horse. After that time he walked with a limp. The villagers remarked upon the farmer's misfortune, to have his only son injured in such a way. "Too soon to tell," he told them. When the war broke out in a neighboring village, the farmer's son, due to his limp, was unable to go. How fortunate, exclaimed the villagers . . .  

Attachment and aversion are both impediments to freedom. In daily life we are constantly pulled between what we want and don't want. Whether trying to pull something in or push it away, there is a relationship between us and the object or event that limits our happiness and creativity. 

A person who overeats and a person who is anorexic are both attached to food. One is always thinking about how to get more and the other thinks about how to avoid it. Both believe that their happiness and fulfillment is directly associated with having or not having food. They become obsessed with it as the core of their well being. Recently I had a crown put on a tooth. My tongue was constantly rubbing the temporary crown the dentist applied, feeling its roughness. The roughness attracted my tongue, even though I didn't like the sensation.  When the new, smooth final crown was applied, my tongue continually rubbed over the smoothness for days, because it found it pleasurable and wanted to feel it over and over again. I of course eventually got bored with it, forgot about it and haven't noticed it since. My tongue not obsessed with a single tooth is open to all sorts of new textures and tastes.  

To realize the push-pull of aversion and attachment we can begin by seeing them for what they are. As an experiment, I encourage you to notice and note during the day the different mind states you experience. For example, note and name when you feel fearful, joyful, angry, or excited.  At the end of the day, write them down and put them into a category either of attachment or aversion. They may range from mild preference (chocolate vs. vanilla ice cream) to places where you got caught in your attachment or aversion. These are times when there is high anxiety associated with how something turns out. Without judgment and being ever so kind to yourself, notice how much time and energy you invested in the different emotions throughout the day. Then, take a few breaths to quiet the mind and ask inwardly, "What was happening here?" Maybe even create your own "too soon to tell" story for the day. 

The next day do the same exercise but, instead of emotions, observe bodily sensations you have when you are attached and trying to pull something to you or trying to avert and keep something away. Notice the tension in your body as you try to control situations and people. "This has to happen for me to be ok, and that cannot." At days end, realize again, without judgment, how much of your life force has been expended during just one day by this push pull tug-of-war in your body. Take a conscious breath. Going within you may find that you feel the sensation lingering just remembering the day.  With loving kindness and forgiveness, soften around it and let it go. As we soften our body we create space for pure potential to enter, bringing with it new possibility and peace. 

As the story at the beginning of this column shows, circumstance of life will always change. This is one thing of which we can be certain. Why place the power over one's own happiness in such a precarious situation? Like the farmer we can learn to live life on life's terms – and open to its pure potential. 

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference. 

The practice of discernment, or wisdom is an essential ingredient to understanding true serenity. This serenity or true happiness is not living in denial. With serenity practice we are aware of all that is happening, but we make a conscious choice to place the focus of attention on the inner true Self – that which is unchanging and greater than any temporary circumstance. In this way we are able to find the presence of mind, courage and energy needed to make necessary changes. We learn compassion for ourselves and for others and are able to take appropriate action when needed.  

The Soul of Prosperity Workshop

Rev. Nancy Ballinger 
Sat. June 12
10:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
$35 (lunch included) 

Join us for a day of inspiration, expansion, and possibility. Experience the joy that comes from living in the flow of life, with gratitude and blessing. 

All welcome.

Pre-registration required Awakening Interfaith.org

If you are looking for a loving, safe place to find the sacred in everyday life, Reverend Nancy Ballinger offers spiritual guidance counseling. With over 20 years as a licensed marriage and family therapist and studies in Eastern and Western philosophies she brings a unique, open perspective to her counseling. Sliding scale fee.

Rufous Hummingbird image on banner by Mike Baird.